


You can touch the edges of my heart

by dasweet2



Category: Legacies (TV 2018)
Genre: F/F, High School, Mental Anguish, Panic Attacks, Slow Burn, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-27
Updated: 2019-08-25
Packaged: 2020-07-21 07:40:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19998301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dasweet2/pseuds/dasweet2
Summary: Penelope never had great ambitions in her life; she has a cool hobby, a job of her own and three older brothers she could give her life for. She certainly isn't a genius and she is also very far from being the best girl in the world, but when she finds out that she’s linked with the mayor's daughter for the rest of her life, she tries to be worthy of it.It doesn't work very well.The soulmate au nobody asked for.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Just remembering that English is not my first language.

Penelope is eleven when she realizes that girls and boys are different.

In fact, she's eleven when she realizes that girls and boys are treated differently, because when she is eleven, Penelope's mother decides that she needs to be more feminine and for that she needs to leave the baseball team to have time to go to ballet rehearsals.

She doesn't ask if Penelope wants out of baseball.

She doesn't ask if Penelope wants to dance.

She just listens to a neighbor saying that Penelope is a bizarre and very masculine girl, and she decides it's time for Penelope to be female. She doesn't care if Penelope wants to do that, at all. She just takes the girl's documents, holds her hand and takes Penelope to the ballet studio the day the registration period opens. And Penelope hates it. She hates the tight, pink outfit, she hates the weird hairstyle and she hates the uncomfortable sneakers.

She also hates it when her mom doesn't show up for her first rehearsal because she is on duty at the hospital again.

“Other girls will be there too. New girls. You will see.” Bernardo says on their way to the studio.

In baseball she still had the twins, Phinn and Phillipe, to help and encourage her, but at the ballet she was alone, which made her feel insecure. – Well, at least she _was_ feeling insecure.

Now, with Phinn holding her hand, Phillipe searching the address on Google, and Bernardo walking behind them with a beginner ballet guide, she doesn't feels alone anymore.

"We'll have ice cream later, I promise." Phillipe blinks at her, which encourages the girl more than any maternal support.

She nods.

"So, I think we're here." Phinn is the only one saying this when all the brothers arrives in front of the large, rustic, and red bricks building, full of flowers and children's toys.

The Old Town's Community Center used to be a lot of things; When the neighborhood was founded, one hundred and fifty years ago, it was the home of an extremely wealthy banker, and it continued with his family for nearly three generations until it was effectively sold to the government in 1964, for to reform and to open a local school. At least, that was the initial wish. With the change of presidents and the rampant onset of corruption, the building was abandoned, serving as a home for drug dealers and their consumers for a long, long time. Nevertheless, despite the bad reputation, this small, three-story building, unlighted, and with its corrupted enchantment, still managed to catch the attention of the current mayor, who decided to follow his wife's ideia with her social work five years ago, converting buildings like this in community centers.

Then, after numerous renovations, the destroyed building became a communal place, visited by almost the entire neighborhood. And surprisingly, it wasn't too bad. The corridors were long, the walls were dark, drawn, and there was a breathtaking glass chandelier in reception. She had never seen such a stylish place in her life.

“Is this your first time?”

Penelope is taken from her reverie by the soft voice of the woman in front of her.

Instinctively, she looks at Phillipe, who smiles at her.

"Yes," she whispers, feeling a little more confident with the lovely smile she receives in return. The woman in question owns beautiful blue eyes, a small and delicate nose, and her hair was so blond that looks even white. She was beautiful. The kind of person who encourages you to want to be nice.

“Well, you'll love it. The ballet performances are beautiful and we always get some time at Lockwood Theater at the beginning of the seasons.” The blue-eyed stranger rambles, taking her eyes off from Penelope to compare the name on Penelope's identity with the names on her clipboard. Then, satisfied with what she finds, she looks at Bernardo briefly as she returns the document.

She waves her hand in a silent request and spins on her heel, instructing the brothers to follow her.

“Do you like performances, darling?” That's another question for Penelope.

"Yes I think."

"Have you performed before?"

"I played baseball before, does that count?"

Penelope stops at the studio entrance, feeling apprehensive.

It's a beautiful place, of course, just like the rest of the building, but the amount of information is scary.

There is a huge mirror on one of the walls and some support rods in front of them. She can also see some chairs in a more private place, full of mothers and older sisters – Some girls in her age are in the center, chatting happily with each other.  
This is so much to her. Just... too much.

“You'll be great, Peez. I promise.” Bernardo whispers beside her, placing his hands on the childish back to encourage his sister.

On the other side, the excited blonde they followed realizes she is no being followed anymore and ceases her hasty steps with both slender eyebrows low. Her expression turns a thousand times gentler when she sees Penelope's apprehensive face.

"That looks a little scary at first, I know, but the girls are very receptive." To make her point, the blonde woman points to the group in the center of the room, talking animatedly. "It's their first class too."

Penelope lets Phillipe's hand go and whispers shamefully, "I'm not very good with new friendships."

Nevertheless, she was excited to make new friends. In fact, that was an idea wholly driven by Phinn at their last dinner; try to meet other girls, she means. Pearl, their mother, is worried because Penelepe hasn't yet developed a feminine way, blaming the amount of time she spends with her brothers and their friends. The ballet, in her mother’s view, would be good to start her relationship with other girls – And if she can prove she can be just like the other girls, so maybe she could convince Pearl to let her go back to baseball.

It was the perfect plan until now.

Now, however, seeing all the girls talking to each other easily, she doesn't know if she can do that.

The woman in front of Penelope waves in compression. “Well, I have a daughter who's a little shy too, but she's amazing and people realized that naturally when they meet her.” She narrows her blue eyes a little to be nice. "I'm pretty sure they will see how special you are too."

Penelope likes the confidence she feels when she hears these words.

"You have a daughter?"

"Two, actually." She uses the clipboard to indicate the circle of girls, probably to show her daughters, but Penelope can't really tell who is who in the midst of so many faces. “I'm going to watch the rehearsal today. You can talk to me later, if you want.”

With a brief nod, she walks back to her parents' quiet space. Then, as if she were a magnet, all the other mothers are drawn toward her, clearly interested in a conversation.

"It's the mayor's wife, isn't it?" Phillipe says somewhere beside her.

“Caroline.” Bernardo nods.

But Penelope doesn't listen to the rest. She has a rehearsal to attend at the end – And she do it.

There are about fifteen moms in the studio and none of them are Penelope's mom, and that makes her a little upset for a considerably time. Then, at some point between all the jumps and pirouettes, she does what she's already used to; she tries to see it in a positive way, and she prefers a thousand times like that, because in this new way Penelope can see fifteen excited mothers and her three brothers offering all the support she could need. A little awkward support, it’s true, full of shouts and whistles as if Penelope were in the middle of a baseball field even though she had missed every step of the choreography and stepped on the girl beside her three times – but they still was there for her support.

And she will always love them for it.

  
***

  
When rehearsal is over, she's more than happy to enter the locker room.

The hairstyle is giving her a headache and her feet are hurting because of her tight ballet slippers, so she just wants to get out of it as soon as possible, put on her baggy clothes and pester Phillipe until he buys her ice cream.

And she can almost take off her shoes.

Almost.

“Aren't you the baseball girl?” One of the ballerinas approaches Penelope at some point, apparently kindly. The almost white color of her hair and the slightly slanted blue eyes look familiar to Penelope, but she doesn't know exactly where this sensation is coming from.

Penelope feels a little nervous. The most part of the girls already knew each other, so they had no communication problems, talking and laughing the moment they entered the locker room, but Penelope doesn't know anyone yet. She never did. She doesn't talk with to many girls, but she would like to be friend with one – She would like it very much.

That's why she doesn't know what to say now. What if she isn't cool? What if she messes up?

"Hm... I am." She tries shyly.

She wants to smile too, but she thinks this is going to be really weird, so she just holds her hand in front of her body and watches as the other girls approach her too, curious about the girl who is always with boys... or maybe just curious about the dynamics that were going on here, she doesn't know.

“You should have stayed there so. Ballet is for girls.”

Penelope doesn't understand that. "But I'm a girl."

"No, you're not!" Another girl says, trying to judge her clearly.

The feeling of rejection consumes Penelope's stomach when she realizes that slowly all eyes around her turn into evil looks.

In any other situation, Penelope wouldn’t let that happen. She was raised by three extremely proud boys who taught her that no one should step on her, and she learned very well. She knows how to protect herself, and she could easily do that now, but right now, she feels a new kind of agony that keeps her from doing anything but stare at all those faces. She wanted so much to have a friend too that when her expectations were ruined, she simply lost her words.

"You shouldn't be here." The blonde who approached her says, denying. Penelope listens quietly as the footsteps move away from her to leave the locker room and she promises herself that she won't cry. She can not cry. She just keeps thinking. _“The world is not kind. Don't expect people to be either”_ and she knows Pearl will be annoyed if she finds out Penelope is crying about it. So, she swallows the anguish, raises her hand to remove the elastic from her hair and promises herself that she will never create that kind of expectation again.

People were cruel and horrible, and they say things that hurt. That's the way things are.

She swallows and raises her head, only to find brown eyes watching her carefully. She's the same girl Penelope bumped into during rehearsal, but she doesn't seem upset with Penelope because of that. In fact, she looks strangely calm. Her brown hair is caught in a hairstyle and she's wearing a pink body like Penelope's own, but for some reason, this girl doesn't look as uncomfortable or clumsy as Penelope was now. She just looks... Cool. And delicate. And soft. And she is so beautiful too.

“I'm so sorry for Lizzie. She is not always like that.”

"Hm... Okay. Fine." Because, in the end, what could she say besides that? Do not worry? Don't ask for apologizes? None of this sounds sincere and it isn't.

Penelope didn't know if she liked girls yet. The name on her wrist was a girl's name, but Penelope didn't know her yet, so she wouldn't let herself look at another a girl like that either. This seemed strange. Evil. She didn't like the idea of wanting someone else if that person wasn't her soulmate, so she doesn't look at other girls like that. And she won't look either. Never. Just because of that, when the word "Beautiful" crosses her thoughts a second time, Penelope looks down at her joined hands and moves her feet to the floor. This is still hurting because of the ballet slippers.

"I can take it off for you."

Penelope lowers her eyebrows.

"What?"

“Your ballet slippers. I can take it off for you.” She offers again, with a kind smile. "Can I?"

_Does she want to take off my ballet slippers?_

When Penelope started in baseball, no boy offered help with the equipment. She only learned after half an hour by maneuvering all protections, refusing the pitying looks of Phillipe and Phinn, who also practiced the sport with her. Penelope grew up with boys and boys don't tend to take care of each other because their parents usually helped with the whole process until they could do it on their own. But Penelope has no father, so she had to learn to do things like that on her own, and she was fine with that.

_But with ballet slippers it was different?_

She looks into the girl's friendly face and she can't say no, so she waves again and swallows a shaky breath as the girl falls to her knees and puts her hands on her slippers knots. “Lizzie is the best person I know, but sometimes her ego puffs up a little. Even so, I promise she is a good person.” She keeps talking while Penelope nods blindly, not really realizing that she can't see it at this angle.

Having a girl undoing the laces on her heels is weird, but not boring or bad. It's kind of a good thing, she thinks. Her hands are delicate. Very soft. When she touches Penelope, it's as if her knees get weak and her breath catches in the back of her throat. She feels her pulse race and her heart stutter with the care and affection the girl has to undo her ties, and for a second, a single second, she wants to be nice and make a friendship.

But it's ended pretty fast – One second, the gentle girl is touching her heels while Penelope is smelling the sweet scent of lavender and cherries coming from her, and the next she’s handing Penelope the ballet slippers with a careful smile.

"See? It's easy.” The girl reaches for her. "I'm Josette, but you can call me Josie."

Josette

The familiarity of that name haunts Penelope like a ghost since she was eight, and she would like to say it's a literal phrase, but it's not.

She was only eight years old when she woke up with a shadow of a vowel on her wrist. E. She remembers how uncomfortable that was and how she rubbed her skin with soap and water to get the weird impression off her wrist. But she injured the area and could not erase the letter.

A few days after that, an "s" appeared next to the "e", and Bernardo saw it. He was the only one explaining to her the tale of soulmates. Something like the universe dividing your soul in two the minute you are conceived, and how that this second part is sent to somewhere in the world. When you were at a close distance from this person, your own body gave some signs of that proximity and sometimes that signal was the letters of the other person's name.

Bernardo showed his signal and wailed at the same second. Penelope’s older brother had only three letters on his heel, and that, according to him, was a bad thing because it meant that his soulmate had his name on her heel too, a part of the body naturally hard to see in a normal day.

Philip already had a full name now. Teresa. His name appeared near the bone of his collarbone a year after the first letters appeared on Penelope's wrist. But Penelope wasn't noticed her own signal completed until two years ago, when she was playing a very important game of thumb war with Mg before realizing the full sequence of letters on her wrist.

Did that mean Josette had her tattoo complete, too?

Penelope drops her eyes to her wrist instinctively, and she can clearly see her name there.

“Penelope.” She smiles shyly, raising her hand to answer Josie's introduction, and she's very careful when she does that. Penelope just feels that she needs to treat Josie with that kind of care not to hurt her, but honestly Penelope doesn't understand why Josie's smile drops and her brown eyebrows drop slightly.

Did she do something wrong?

Penelope has been playing baseball since she was seven and sometimes she played without gloves, so her hands weren't as delicate and feminine as Josie's hands were. She knows because she has some corns and she thinks that's why Josie isn't smiling at her anymore. Penelope thinks her corns are hurting Josie.

She does the first thing that pops into her head and tries to pull her wrist back right away, but Josie won't let her take her hand away, squeezing her fingers gently to change the position of their hands, so Penelope's wrist is raised and her name is easily exposed.

Penelope clears her throat.

"I... Hm... Phillipe will take me for ice cream." She says as Josie releases her and walks away a little. Penelope covers her name with her other hand because, for some reason, it doesn't seem to have made Josie happy. "Do you want to come with us?"

Please, say yes.

Please.

"No, thank you. Lizzie and I are having dinner with our mom.” Josie smiles with pursed lips before taking her bag from the sink. She turns around just to say, “It was nice meeting you, Penelope.” Before leaving.

The next time Lizzie tries to embarrass Penelope, she doesn't stay quiet, but Josie does.

Soul mates should take care of each other.

Soul mates should protect each other.

But Josie just turns and walks away again.

And again.

And again.

Penelope keeps saying that it's because Josie doesn't love her yet, but Josie doesn't even try, and it hurts her.

"You two are very young," Bernardo says when they were having half a family lunch.

Not surprisingly, Pearl is working when this conversation happens, but it's better this way. Penelope didn't tell her about Josie. None of the Park brothers did. Pearl never knew her soulmate, and worse than that, she never found a letter in her body, so it made her a little bit bitter for the things of the heart. Penelope knew that if she were going to talk about Josie, her mother would just roll her eyes and repeat her personal mantra “ _People don't love. People just hurt_.” And Penelope doesn't want to hear that again. She likes Josie and she wants Josie to like her too.

“Give her some time. You'll be together when you're old enough for that.” Bernardo keeps talking.

So Penelope gives up ballet practice and goes back to baseball because if Josie needed time, she would give it to her.

At least, she tries.

In the next year, Josie and Lizzie are transferred to Penelope's school and they all study in the same class, which makes it a little difficult in the process of avoiding her.

  
***

  
Penelope's fifteen when both of them are drawn to do a physics project together, and she's so excited about it.

One of the twins, Phillipe, has been dating Teresa for two months and Bernardo found out that his soulmate, Linda, is just Josie's best friend a few months ago. Nevertheless, even with their short relationship, both couples have a incredibly and beautiful relationship, and reciprocal. Bernardo likes Linda as much as Linda likes him and Teresa could give the world for Phillipe.

Penelope still doesn't know how love works, but she thinks it should be like that; with someone willing to face the world for you.

She just wants Josie and her to be like that too, but when she stops Josie to ask about the project, in the middle of the coffee shop, excited to spend some time with her, Josie smiles with tight lips and says “I'll do it and put your name. Don't worry about” before she leave.

This is not the first time Josie makes an excuse not to talk to her and Penelope easily realizes this even though she doesn't know why she is doing it. Penelope isn't a rich or very smart girl, it's true, but she's a good girl. She works and has her own money. She is a regular student too. She has even learned to use mascara and lipstick, and she is considerably attractive. She has had boys and girls going to her, and because of the frequency this happens, she can guarantee that she is not bad to look at, even when she keeps refusing all the attempts.

But even so, Josie never looked at her like that.

Or like nothing, at all.

Sometimes it's like Penelope doesn't even exist and that frustrates her.

Why can't Josie see her?

***

When she's sixteen, Penelope hears Linda tell Bernardo that Josie slept with Rafael on the weekend, and on Monday, he has his arms around her shoulders on the baseball camp just as if they were dating.

Josie is smiling at him.

She hasn't smiled at Penelope since she was eleven, but she smiles at Rafael.

Penelope knows this is getting ridiculous, but she can't help it. If Josie doesn't want her, she needs to say it with every word. That's just why Penelope follows her to the bathroom that day, promising to herself that this is the last time she's going to pester Josie because of her expectations.

Josie turns to her.

"You're with Rafael," she begins, hating every word. She hopes this is all just a big mess and Josie says it's just another grotesque gossip, but Josie nods, agreeing with her statement. "You gave him a chance," she says again, hearing the way her voice is considerably lower now. “You gave him a chance, but not for me. Is something wrong with me?”

She hates what it looks like.

She hates the words.

She hates how needy she is.

She doesn't really want to ask that because she knows it's a little archaic and because she knows this soulmate crap was just a bunch of letters on her wrist, but she can't swallow her words now. Not after Josie has heard that. Not after all she saw today.

Josie denies it.

“I just think fate doesn't have to rule it. I like Rafael now, and I won't abandon it just because someone thinks we should be together. ”

Penelope didn't choose Josie because her name was engraved on her wrist. She chose Josie because she had a good heart. She chose Josie because Josie defended Lizzie like no one else defended Lizzie and because she gave free math classes to the neighborhood kids, and because she wrote affectionate notes to random people at school just to remind them that they're special on Valentine's Day, anonymously, and because when she smiled, Penelope's day got better a thousand times, and because when Josie was nervous, she rubbed her fingers at the letters of Penelope's name on her wrist unconsciously.

Penelope chose Josie.

Not fate, not the universe and certainly not God.

But Josie didn't pick her back.

***

  
Two days after that, Penelope kisses someone for the first time. It doesn't seem right and it sure doesn't make your heart race the way it should be, but who cares? She will still have a lot of time to love the right people and when that time comes she would guarantee that she would be loved back.

Maybe that way her heart wouldn't hurt so much.

She kisses other people after that too, but she doesn't like to do that, at all. She thinks it's unnecessary and clumsy, and if she can be honest, sometimes it's a little wet too, but keeps doing that because she needs to get on with her life.

She kisses a girl once and it's weird.

So she kisses a boy and is... Okay.

She is a little high when this happens, but sober enough to know that she really wants to accept it when he calls her to go somewhere else. They don't leave the party for that anyway. He takes her somewhere in the pantry, kisses her neck and opens his belt, but Penelope isn't even close to feeling anything when it happens, so she does the first thing she thinks and breaks the kiss. "Not yet," she says, ignoring the boy's confused expression to take his hands off his belt and help him until her panties.

It’s almost good.

Almost.

It's not a total disaster, at least. She can even feels that warm sensation and the nervous anxiety burning in her stomach like if she could do something big and... Well, cool, and that seems enough at the moment – at that really short and small moment because before that thing arrives, the pantry door opens and the person at the door is just the worst person in the world to appear now.

"Bernardo-" she whispers in shock.

Bernardo, your older brother.

Bernardo, your fucking older brother.

"What-" He strangled, not believing he saw it. Penelope also can't believe this is really happening, if she can be honest. How did he get here? How the hell did he find her here? Penelope stutters, her mind blank, but all Bernardo does is stare at the boy in front of her and growl, "Son of a bitch!"

It's a mess at the very least.

Bernardo pulls him into the middle of the kitchen and they fight, punches and kicks in everywhere and with everyone watching. A curious mass of people circle them easily as Penelope, in a panic, tries to pulls the poor boy's away from her brother rage.

Phillipe and Phinn hold Bernardo while someone will try to dry the blood on the other guy's nose.

“Are you crazy?” Phillipe shouts.

"What are you doing?!" Phinn asks.

"He was- Penelope- He and Penelope-" Bernardo can't say that out loud, but the boys understand.

Two pairs of eyes, in shock, turned toward Penelope.

"You and him... Did you sleep with my sister!" Phillipe growls, releasing Bernardo to run after the boy, but the boy runs out of the kitchen before Phillipe can catch him.

Penelope looks at Josie in the same second, instinctively, because she feels she owes an apology, and she almost does it when she connects her eyes with hers in the mass of teenagers. Then she remembers that Josie doesn't want her and her heart hurts.

It hurts even more when she sees the look of betrayal on Josie's face.

Why is she hurting Josie if she's not trying to do this?

“Peez, come here.” Linda holds her elbow gently, trying to get her attention. “Peez, we need to get out of here. Come on.” Falling into reality around her, Penelope nods slowly to the small blonde girl in front of her and leaves the kitchen.

Rafael breaks up with Josie the day he meets his soul mate for the first time.

It's not even four months after he and Josie started dating, but Penelope still expects Josie to be a little upset about the whole situation. However Josie is incredibly well. Or Linda says she is, at least.

Five months after that, Josie and Penelope end up playing the truth or dare at a friend meeting.

“Truth or dare?” Linda asks.

"Dare," Josie says.

"I dare you to go to the closet with Penelope."

Her stupid and half-drunk heart still stutters at the possibility of talking to Josie.

But Josie doesn't look at her before changing her choice.

"Truth."

Penelope doesn't ask for many things. She has a house, a family she loves and a nice hobbie. She is happy. She worked hard to be, but tonight, Josie's explicit rejection reminds her of how unwanted she is. Her father doesn't look at her, her mother thinks she is still a stupid and needy child and her brothers are slowly meeting new people and leaving her life. And Josie, the only person in the world who should make her feel wanted and loved, just makes a point of remembering how repulsive she is every time they are together.

She reaches into Linda's mother's fridge and steals a few beers from there when the game is over.

To say that this is a mistake is an understatement. – This is a disaster.

Penelope comes home drunk and crying while Bernardo and Linda try to reassure their broken heart.

Surprisingly, Pearl is in the living room when this happens, watching television, probably after another long and tiring on-call at the hospital.

“What happened?” She asks, obviously worried.

“She drank a lot. I really don't know how that happened.” Linda responds.

After that, the night is a blur for Penelope. She remembers Bernardo taking her to the bathroom and remembers him leaving they too, but she doesn't know if Phillipe and Phinn were home, if they were sleeping or if they were at some other neighborhood party. She just remembers crying again, whispering the events of the night compulsively while she hugs Pearl's stomach, looking for comfort.

"People don't love." Her mother says when Penelope finishes, pulling her arms out from your stomach to get on her knees in front of Penelope, her tired face full of anger. “People just hurt. How many times do I need to say that? ”

People do much more than hurt, but some people weren't born to be loved.

People like Penelope.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I wasn't expecting to continue the story, but I received a lot of wonderful requests, so here I am! :) Thank you so much for the feedback! I hope you like it!

When she arrives in the kitchen with dark circles under her eyes and a pale face, opening the freezer to find some ice for her infernal headache, Phinn is the only one greeting her... Or almost that.

“So you're alive”

Bernardo is drinking coffee standing and Phillipe has his elbow on the table, as destroyed as Penelope herself. She doesn't know where and how the twins were last night, but she can bet there were a lot of drinks.

"I think so," she replies, lowering her eyebrows when she realizes the ice bowl is empty. "What the hell-" She almost curses, but shakes her head at the sight of Phillipe holding a compress against his forehead. Not long after, she's falling into the chair next to him as she accepts the compress with a sigh of relief. “I'll never drink again.”

“We'll see this soon.” Phillipe tries to laugh, but the hangover gets the best of him, drawing a sore moan from him.

Penelope raises an eyebrow at Phinn, who is sitting at the counter.

"The girls are organizing the festival this year." He responds with a funny smile. “Teresa has banned the drinks again, but we'll make an exception.”

Penelope pulls the compress away when Phillipe tries to reach it with her brows lowered. "Did you realize you're planning your next hangover?"

"Hmm... Yes?"

She rolls her eyes, looking at Phinn again, who is filling her mouth with chips. “The spring festival?”

"Hrm."

“I didn't realize it was already that close.” She's a little surprised by that, actually. With all the latest happenings, she forgot the annual charity party.

Phillipe moans again "Teresa is treating me like a slave since last week."

"Just because she asked you to get some soda?" Bernardo shakes his head. "I could sell Peez to do just that."

“Aw.” She sneers, removing the compress from her head to look at Bernardo.

But he goes on to say, “Linda will have the cupcake tent this year. She made me promise that I would help her make the cakes; man, I don't even know how the hell to make a cake. ”

“I'll be home this week. I can help."

Bernardo is as surprised with the offer as the other brothers are.

"Seriously?"

"Yes, of course. Teresa won't be able to use me as a transport if I'm baking cake with my big bother, will she? ”All three brothers react to this; Penelope's eyes rolled, a mocking noise coming from Bernardo and a grimace rising on Phinn's face.

“You're an idiot.” Bernardo is the only one verbalizing the general thoughts of the others.

Phillipe, falsely offended, sucks the air. "I'm still helping you, you ungrateful."

He is not a total idiot when he wants to. Truly, in the most part of the time he fulfills Teresa's wishes perfectly well, but the period of the events is always excruciating for him. It's excruciating to everyone, actually. The girls really had a way of getting all the Park brothers into this mess every year, and although Penelope likes them and all the party intent, she doesn't blame Phillipe for finding a way to escape this chaos before it started.

Even so, Phillipe's painful reaction was enough for him to be teased for the rest of the day, which Penelope was going to do before she noticed the sepulchral silence engulfing the kitchen deadly. She raises an eyebrow as Pearl walks through space, unconscious about the tension she has created.

"I'm leaving." Bernardo is the first to say, leaving the cup in the sink before turning his heels and leaving. Phillipe shrugs her shoulders shortly afterwards and leaves too, leaving only Phinn and Penelope behind in a giant haze of embarrassment, wich the younger of the brothers honestly doesn't understand.

Pearl didn't have a very good relationship with her children and nevertheless she wasn't particularly interested in having it. And this isn't new. All the brothers were already used to it and honestly, they didn't care either. They had each other, in the end. One dysfunctional dynamic or another wouldn't change nothing dramatically – But Bernardo leaving the kitchen at the moment Pearl entered there? That can change somethings.

"I left headache pills on the counter." Pearl begins, checking something in her bag. She’s simple today. The usual work clothes, black hair stuck and dark circles under the eyes. It's no different from what Penelope is already used to. "If it gets too bad, you can took them" she continues, pulling the car keys out of her bag.

Penelope nods in agreement, watching while her mother grabs some apple from the fruit bowl and hurries out of the kitchen.

She share the same silent look with Phinn, who offers his shoulders as he closes the salty package.

"Linda brought you yesterday," he begins simply and Penelope's jaw hardens instantly; partly because of the bitter memory of last night's events and partly because she knows what happened as soon as she slept.

“Did she hear the fight?” Penelope questions instead of asking the topic of the fight – since she already knows. She’s already used to hearing the constant discussions between her brothers and her mother and she knew how to handle it very well. Years of practice helped in this part. Linda, however, didn't deserve to hear that, especially since Penelope was the only one who needed help getting home yesterday.

"No."

Pearl isn't just against the idea of soulmates; she is also effectively against the idea of dating one. She doesn't like Linda or Teresa, and now probably not even Josie, and Penelope is fine with that because she doesn't agree with all this cosmic bullshit either. The point is that Penelope respects her brothers' particular decision to believe that. Pearl, however, no. And she often expresses this with barbs and arguments, which easily bores Bernardo and Phillipe, especially when these fights happen in front of the girls.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She looks at Phinn again, pushing those thoughts away to focus on her brother. Phinn is genuinely concerned about her now and this confuses her visibly because, not long after, he explains his statement. "About what happened for you drink like that." Penelope sneers, closing her eyes while she changes the compress to press in the right place. Relief is welcome, but unpleasant memory nevertheless sucks. She was already dealing with enough for now. She didn't need to express it out loud either. But Phinn doesn't need an explanation really. He was already used to dealing with the consequences of the things Penelope does to relieve her broken heart. “Not everyone was born to work, Peez. Don't let it get to you. ”

She opens her eyes defensively. "I am fine." And Phillipe studies her for a considerably long time before denying wistfully.

He leaves the counter, puts the chips away and stops at Penelope's side briefly.

“Our mother destroyed her life because of resentment.” Four children, no family, no friendship or a real connection with someone. She works to support her smoking habit and in the most part of the days she doesn't even know the name of the man who is leaving her bed. Phinn knows that Penelope has a better chance to not ending like this, but that doesn't mean she won't end like this. "Be better than her."

Being better has a much broader meaning than it seems. People have different perspectives of life. Different thoughts. Linda thinks organizing events and getting married on the beach is the right way to go; But Teresa thinks an apartment in New York and a black cat is the right future. If someone puts them face to face, those opinions will not change because no one can prevent the other from having a vision of their own happiness. If Linda wants to get married and Teresa thinks that a life together is enough, that's fine. None of them are wrong. They just think differently. That's why Penelope understands Pearl. For the first time since she can remember, she really understands her mother.

Sleeping with the whole neighborhood or not is her choice; Wanting to keep people close or not is her choice. Not Phinn, not Phillipe and not anyone has the right to point out if this is right for her, just as no one has the right to say how Penelope should deal with her heart.

Thinking like that, she does what she’s already used to; she clogs the feeling until it gets out of control.

When Dana sends her a message one night, she’s more than happy to agree with the date.

Dana had been a little obsessed with her since her first year, but Penelope always had a whole complex with her love life to think about it; now, however, she couldn't care less about that.

"I thought you would ignore me" she says, showing all her teeth in a smile while she plays with the smooth edge of Penelope's shirt. Dana's at home for a few hours now, initially just to watch a movie, although things progressed naturally after a few flirts.

The movie is easily forgotten at some point.

“Why?” She questions without really being interested in the subject. Her mouth moving to Dana's neck.

“Because of Rafael.” Rafael was going to be a problem for another time. Besides, she's not blame if Dana is his soulmate.

“Are you afraid of him?” Penelope asks, focusing on the soft sigh she receives when she reaches a particular point.

"I don't. But I don't want to hurt him either.”

She doesn't think about Rafael while Penelope is going down on her, but that's fine. Sometimes the letters that appear on our body are just that; letters.

  
By Monday, Penelope is changing her books when MG comes to her.

"Did the desert barbie notice you or something?" Penelope ignores the normal greetings, holding her amused smile instead.

MG has a one-sided, unrequited crush on the girl since Lizzie was transferred, but he's too shy to make a move about it. In fact, the only time Penelope saw them talking was when Lizzie stumbled upon him once, and Nevertheless she's not sure if Lizzie looked into his face before running off again.

“How are you not excited?” MG asks, which causes Penelope to raise an eyebrow.

"Should I be excited?"

"Oh, you don't know yet." He smiles, putting his arm around Penelope's shoulders when she finally closes the locker and starts walking into the classroom. “Alaric got a deal with the capital. We'll have scouts this year, Peez.” He says cheerfully. “My parents are excited. I can even get a scholarship. Isn't that amazing?”

“Yeah?” She smiles at the boy's excitement.

"Of course. The capital has some really cool universities for those studying Peez theater... And I've heard that we're going to have a lot of student scholarship options. It's an incredible chance." Penelope blinks slowly, trying to assimilate all the information she's getting now.

No one in her family really graduated. Pearl took some technical courses until she was hired by the local hospital, Bernardo is a mechanic and the twins work a few times, but due to the last time they failed in high school, they're still doing their senior year - just like Penelope. No one really made plans to enter a college. Not even Penelope, who thought she would follow the same fate as her family and get an average job until she can form a family, and then she would live yelling at children and hostage to some cigarette addiction.

But now, MG's animation does something for her.

For a moment Penelope wonders what it would be like to be more.

Throughout the day, the honor council put this ad on the news board, detailing the modes chosen for the distribution of the scholarships, which only increases the amount of whispers she hears about universities.

Still, there is an unconscious and annoying voice in the back of her head that says that paper is useless. That same voice makes her avoid looking at that specific mural every time she needs to cross that corridor; People like her aren't born for things like that. This is how it is. Even so, at the end of the day, when school finally begins to empty and people start to leave, she finds herself walking toward that wall.

Would have a considerable percentage that would be accepted through a exame, the theater team would have a chance to compete as the cheerleading team and, of course, would also have the twenty percent for people with disabilities; however, it is the sports scholarships that is catching Penelope's attention.

She’s not stupid; she knows that most of these vacancies will go to soccer boys from the rival school since The Richmond University is investing more in soccer players than in sports players like basketball and lacrosse, but she knows it still exists the possibility of some scout watching the baseball games since Old Town is the baseball district and the most part of the schools are prominently devoted to that particular sport. That means she also has a chance. A remote, almost impossible, and highly unlikely chance – But a chance yet. It gets on her nerves all day long.

When she finally finishes reading all the typed lines and remember that the real world is much more than a jumble of "maybes", Bernardo is talking to Linda in the school parking lot while Phillipe has a farewell worthy with Teresa. Both promised they would buy more soda for the party and because of that Bernardo came to get the brothers today, but until that happens, Phinn and Penelope are waiting leaning against the side of the car tediously. She's still overwhelmed by the amount of information she's had today because, despite the pessimistic voice whispering stupid things in the back of her mind, she knows that if she gets it she'll be the first in her family to go to college, and she kind of likes it. A lot.

However, Penelope's line of reasoning is broken when she realizes that Rafael has stopped in front of her.

“You bitch!” He shouts, pointing a finger at her.

Right, it takes her a considerable time to understand his outburst, but when it sinks, she still finds his reaction extremely rude. This is not how boys should talk to a girl and she is going to express it when Phillipe and Phinn approach, and as soon, Bernardo releases Linda to come closer too. Penelope doesn't see the point of a threat in words. She can bet Rafael has already realized who is at the disadvantage.

“I'm pretty sure she saved my number as a “babe”, actually.” She wrinkles her nose a little, taking his finger off from her face slowly.

Rafael pulls his hand back and she bites her lower lip to avoid exposing the way she finds it funny. Uselessly, actually, because she can't. The amusement in her eyes is easily recognized, especially by him, who shakes his head negatively before walking away.

The sudden silence of the parking lot is filled with some agitated whispers, probably to start the endless wave of gossip, all in her name.

Penelope rolls her eyes, taking her hips off the side of the car when she realizes this is the time for the sermons. And she's not wrong. Bernardo looks at her carefully, clearly scolding her choice of lover, but what can she do about it? She's not to blame if he believes this whole mess is real crap and she's also not to blame if there are other people like her. Besides, sex needs at least two people and a lot of consent, two things she made sure to check with Dana before taking her panties off.

"You need to be careful about the people you sleep with, Peez." Bernardo prefers to say rather than make the actual accusation, which is good, or nearly so.

Penelope offers her shoulders.

"I can protect myself."

Because it is the truth.

Since everything changed, all she has done is protect her from the rest of the world, which she honestly thought would be difficult at first; Old habits are hard to break in the end. But it was surprisingly easy to do that when she realized that the only thing she needed to do was stop insisting on things she can't have and start going after the things she can have.

It may sound like total bullshit, but it worked out well for her... Or partially well if she considers the situation with Rafael. She gets a $30 raise when she tells her boss she's going to report him for falsifying the letter of permission to have the coffee maker, so, two weeks after that, she finds out she got an interview to run for one sports scholarship the same day she was a little more aggressive in the field and accidentally dislocated an opponent's shoulder.

She doesn't need limits, she just needs to want. She can have anything. And it's amazing how many things she can have. It’s addicting. In a moment, she's trying to figure out who she is and the future she's going to have. Next time, she discovers that she can be anything and have the future she wants, and even despite her brothers' constant warnings about stability and choices, she still thinks she can do anything.

Sometime between her recent popularity, Pearl's proud smile and the never-ending parties, she's so high with the feeling that she can't see the signs right in front of her. At least, not until she realizes that.

One day, Linda asks for help setting up the cupcake tent in the middle of the Spring Festival, and between last year's high school complaints and Linda's fear of the future, Penelope talks about the interview she's going to have, and Linda continues the subject with a “Oh, this is wonderful, Peez! I almost kissed Josie when she said she managed to bring scouts into town.”

Penelope doesn't understand. Of course she doesn't understand. Josie may be the mayor's daughter, but what does she have to do with the scouts in town?

"What you mean?"

Linda shrugs while she fixes the filling on one of the cakes.

“Alaric's initial project was to offer only the exame to the students, but Josie found it valid to include sports scholarship.” And that sounds true for a second, but Penelope knows better.

“There aren't just sports scholarship.”

"No." Linda agrees. “Mr. Saltzman found it unfair with the rest of the city to offer just for the sports group and expanded the project.”

But still, Josie was the only one talking about the distribution of sports scholarship.

The spring festival is like any other Penelope has ever attended; Colorful arcades, tent games and guitar and juggling performances. She spends the night listening to the sound of children's laughter and the joyful screams of people who can throw the basketball into the net, in the tent across the hall, and she kinda likes it for a while, so it's becomes terribly... Lovely.

"I want a cake," this boy says, holding up the two-dollar bill like it's a roller coaster ticked. The very straight blond hair is covering a large part of his vision and he has a lovely window on his upper teeth, which makes the boyish face look extremely kind. Penelope swears he’s no more than seven years old. “What's your name?” He asks, putting his thin arms on the tent platform to get a little higher while Penelope, on the other side, rests a hand on her waist and smiles, finding the boy's insistence funny.

"Penelope."

"Do you have a boyfriend, Penelope?" He says shyly. Her flushed cheeks covering most of the speckled freckles on his nose. He was a special child.

"I don't."

"So you want to be my girlfriend?"

Linda moans behind her, finding this moment beautiful and sweet, and the boy uses his fat hands to brush his hair from his face, more embarrassed than before.

"That's very kind of you," she begins. "But I kind of like other girls." Due to the boy's clearly sad expression, Penelope smiles more kindly, picking up the same strawberry cupcake with colored sprinkles he'd bought the previous four times to ask her age, school and her favorite movie, before leaning closer to the boy and clicks her tongue on the roof of her mouth.

"Do you see that girl over there?" She uses the tip of her chin to point at a blond girl in the basketball tent, about five years old. “She's been here a long time and she's really upset that she's not winning. You could take this to her and offer your help. I'm sure she'll love dating you after that. ”He seems a thousand times more excited about this idea, picking up the strawberry cake and lifting the two-dollar bill excitedly.

Penelope raises her stance again, making that noise with her throat. "Is on me."

"James is lovely." Linda pronounces a few minutes later, falling in love with the innocent interaction they're both watching while the boy shares his cupcake with his new crush, listening while she say how much she want the stuffed frog from basketball tent.

Penelope notices Linda's easy recognition, but then, Linda helps Caroline at the community center almost every week. She knows a lot of kids. “Yes, he is.” Taking her hand from her waist, she fits her fingers into her hair to swing the strands until she takes off her hairstyle. “And he took also the last cake in stock. Do you want some help cleaning things up?”

Of course Linda accepts and also of course they still talk about today because obviously Linda is excited about the sale productivity of the day. The spring festival was the most anticipated event of the year, not only because of the festival itself, but also because the money from the community center is raised during the festival. Closing a tent at nine o'clock is an incredible accomplishment and knowing that the community center will be open for another year makes up for all the unpleasant flirting they needed to hear today.

When everything is finally organized, Penelope puts on more comfortable clothes and will meet the boys in the mirror house that Phillipe was running during the day; but now it's a hiding place for six drunken teenagers and their illegal substances.

"Wasn't it the sheriff who asked you to keep the mirror house?" Josie asks, her brown eyebrows low. Besides Penelope and Linda, she's probably the only sober person in the group right now... and, well, in any situation.

She’s not a big fan of drinks.

"Yes?"

“Unbelievable.” She shakes her head in response and Phinn laughs shortly before squinting his eyes closed many times.

“Guys, I'm not fine.” Then, to make the point, he rubs his hand over his face awkwardly to avoid looking at the misshapen form looking back at him in the mirror.

Penelope had warned that getting high in such a house wouldn’t work; She likes the dark place and the red lights, of course, but she's totally against the idea of drunk, confused, and tall people in a confusing place. Nevertheless, she’s not exactly the kind of person who is there to suppress any sense of amusement, so when the twins insisted on the spot, she was more than happy to forget the objection; it would be fun like hell to see them trying to get out of it anyway.

"So, Josie..." Bernardo begins, lying in the middle of the floor like soft jelly. He’s so high that Penelope swears he will reach the sky. “A little bird tell me that the idea for sports scholarship was yours-?” He opens his eyes slowly, the head lifting to look at the girl in question. But Josie doesn't even bother, clearly finding his slurred way of talking funny.

"Is that a question?"

"Is that it?" Bernardo repeats, laying his head on the floor again while he closes his eyes, lost in the dynamics started by himself.

Penelope look at Linda, but Linda just bites her bottom lip to avoid laughing.

After a certain amount, alcohol used to make people excited and energetic. However, Bernardo never drinks enough to reach this point; Worse than that, he stops at a time when the day seems to slow down and your brain takes a lot of time to put together the full sentences, which is supposed to be funny, but it's kind of sad, especially considering that this part is properly linked in part that your tongue gets a life for itself.

“I think so." Regardless of whether or not he understands the interaction, Josie responds, putting her hands in the pockets of her black overcoat.

Penelope has her knees raised on the other side of her brother's body partially unconsciously when this happens; elbows on her knees and the endless rest of a beer she started half an hour ago in her hand. She expected to hear a lot after that, but what she listens to instead makes her eyebrows raise slightly.

"Thank you," Bernardo says, his voice deep and strangely emotional now. Penelope knows her brother as her own palm; She knows he could do the impossible to show how much he cares about something, but saying it in words is something he only does when he's really drunk. That's just why her breath catches in the back when he talks about it. “I've been working since my eleven years for my brothers have good things, but I could never take them to college.” Penelope's muscles fall unconsciously.

She knew that Pearl's salary as a nurse wasn't enough to support four children and a home, and she also knew of Bernardo's sacrifices, so none of them had to go through hard times, but she never heard Bernardo get emotional about it. He never talked about how it was when he dropped out of high school to work in a workshop, or how tiring it was to sell his weekends to have money to buy Phillipe's first baseball gloves, or how his allergy kept him sneezing at the time he took care of dogs just to buy Penelope's first grade prom dress.

But now, with him lying in the middle of the floor, eyes closed and heart open, she can see how much he thinks that wasn't enough.

"But now Penelope got a scholarship and you did it." He continues quietly and Penelope swallows, unable to think of anything but how the way Bernardo's voice is small. "Thank you."

She looks up to find Phillipe, lying on Teresa's lap, now painfully sober as he unwittingly turns between looking at Penelope and Bernardo. Phinn, next to Josie, is studying his hands on his lap; thick eyebrows slightly wrinkled. No one is drunk or dizzy or confused anymore. None of the brothers are, at least. Everyone is too surprised by the unexpected confession to be and, for the same reason, nostalgic too.

Life wasn't easy for some people. Never was. But hearing it out loud makes it all seem… real. And yet it magnifies Bernardo's heart even more.

Teresa puts her hand on Phillipe's shoulder, offering a sad smile to comfort the boy. Linda, sitting on Bernardo's feet, lies down, her head is on her boyfriend's heels; her fingers rubbing his knee gently. Penelope forces her eyes out of Bernardo and studies Josie, who is staring at the boy on the floor as if this has stunned her, as if she hasn't been living near an aesthetically poor neighborhood since she was eleven, as if such reports were not common.

Josie reacts instinctively, looking at her across the room. She changes her troubled expression to something Penelope cannot recognize. Not indifferent or cold, or allied, as it usually is. But it's not pity either. Her lips are slightly parted and her expression is soft. It's the first time Penelope really understands why Josie scratches her wrist when she's nervous because here, right now, she can feel the insistent itching burning under her skin.

And she hates the feeling.

She hates the wait.

She hates to know that she will always have the same reaction every time because, cosmatically or not, Josie is stuck in her skin.

Penelope's lips clench at the bitter realization and she watches silently as Josie swallows. She gives up Penelope's attention to look at Bernardo briefly. So, she studies the beer bottle in her own hand.

"You're welcome."


	3. Chapter 3

Starts with a noise.

At first, this doesn't seem anything; Bernardo and Phillipe have slept, Linda is still on her boyfriend's heels and Josie is lying on Phinn's shoulder, showing something on her cell phone. Teresa is telling about this vacation she and Linda shared three years ago at Big Stone and Penelope is just there when this noise becomes louder and louder and footsteps grow outside. All the voices fall when all they look at each other suspiciously.

The door shakes.

“Phillipe? Are you still in there?"

"Shit," Linda screams in a whisper, sitting down as Teresa shakes her boyfriend wildly.

“Is this the sheriff?” Josie asks, taking turns to look at Teresa shaking Phillipe and Linda sitting, in panic.

Before anyone can answer, the door shakes again.

“Phillipe, it's me, Janine. It's late, don't you think it's better give me the keys? I close the mirror house. ”

"Holy shit," Penelope grumbles, crawling over Bernardo to reach Phillipe's pockets. She runs her hands over her brother's jeans hurriedly while Teresa pushes her boyfriend aside to take the boy off her lap. Josie and Linda they rise in panic, picking up all the cigarettes from the floor.

“I'll help.” Phinn gets on his knees, putting a much needed boost to lift before the alcoholic content swimming in his blood makes him wobble and fall to Josie's feet, totally drunk, while Linda's hurried whispers echo around.

Bernardo wakes up with the crash, lifting his head off the floor sharply. "Working at eleven." He says randomly before falling to the ground again. "Where I-"

“Shiiiu.” Teresa gasps, covering Bernardo's mouth with her hand the second the door starts to compulsively shake.

“Phillipe? Are you alright?!"

Finally reaching for the keys, Penelope gets up just when Linda shouts in response "Just a second!"

"Who's there? Phillipe, open the door!"

Penelope tosses the keys to her and picks up the bundle of herbs on the floor, housing the plastic in her jeans pocket.

Linda runs toward the exit, smiling yellow at the sheriff's fright, who wasn't expecting to see her in general.

“Mrs. Robert, hey, how are you?"

“What are you doing here?” Janine lowers her eyebrows, her face full of suspicion when Josie and Penelope appear behind Linda, smiling in different ways.

Penelope has been in some trouble throughout her life. Living with three troubled boys and a creative mind like hell has a dose of guilt in it, so she's not panicked or scared; your best poker smile on your face.

Josie, however, is a mess.

Penelope realizes that something is wrong the instant the sheriff looks at her and Janine's expression gets three times more suspicious. Josie is pale. Your face is almost panicked.

The fact is: The town sheriff being less than ten feet away from a hundred grams of weed doesn't scare Penelope. What scares her is the way Janine's nose wrinkles when she looks over Josie's shoulders.

“Is that weed?” She asks, trying to get around Linda.

Penelope moves to get in front of her.

"That _was_." She nods, feeling her tongue slide with the easy lie. “Phillipe found some boys smoking inside the house and took them out of the park with Phinn.” She steps back out of Janine's personal space, who still seems deeply suspicious of the whole situation. "And, you know, Linda and I were in the cake tent..." She uses the tip of her chin to show the location considerably near the house of mirrors, which attracts Janine's attention. "See? We saw it all happen and we thought it would be nice to keep an eye on the house until they come back. ”

Honestly, Penelope thinks this is a totally believable lie. If she wasn't there on her own just a few seconds ago, she would totally believe all those words.

Janine, however, knows better. She was there when Phinn was got into a fight at the local ice cream shop, when Penelope threw eggs at a neighbor's door on Halloween and when Bernardo was fired from the pet shop after confusing the essences and washing all the dogs with some pink dye prototype. She was also there when none of them were arrested for these things. The family's natural charm and their golden tongue were entirely responsible for this, and the sheriff knew that very well.

That's why Janine distrusts Penelope's whole story without thinking twice.

She squints at the words, looks past Penelope's shoulders and connects her eyes with Josie's.

"Josette?"

“It's unfortunate, Mrs. Robert, I know. I made sure to check the mirror house myself. ”Josie replies, twisting her face until she reaches the apex of disappointment. “And I apologize for the delay in answering you now earlier. We were sweeping the cigarettes and everything.”

Janine believes that.

Holy shit, she really believes that.

“Oh, you didn't have to, Ms. Saltzman. Your parents already do so much for the community.” She change her feet before continuing. “Besides, I know you and the girls organized the festival this year. You must be exhausted.”

“Oh, don't worry about it. I never bother to help.”

Josie shrugs, smiling in that sweet and gentle way that used to make Penelope's heart skip over.

Now, however, with the lie on the tip of her tongue and the falsely slanted lips in a helpful smile, Penelope realizes that she shouldn't have created such an innocent image of her.

"We're very lucky to have you." Janine continues the tireless flattery while Penelope drops her feet back until she is on Linda's side, watching the interaction with an amused smile. She feels Linda's eyes burn in her direction, but she's too busy to care.

“Don't say that. My parents and I are just taking care of our children's future. The honor is all ours.” Janine doesn't take long after that; a greeting here, another there, and she says goodbye, making sure to look at Penelope poorly before leaving.

Linda goes after her, saying something about bringing the car and waking the boys, but Penelope can't honestly say what it is; Her eyes are fixed on Josie in a mixture of fascination and fun.

Josie isn't exactly the kind of girl who gets involved in teenage crap; she's in the same social circle that Penelope has been in since Linda and Bernardo started dating, of course, and they've been in the same school since they were twelve, but that doesn't mean Josie is remotely similar to either of them.

She has a better life condition. Your clothes are different, your sense of humor is different; even your way of speaking is confusing some times. She’s not around when Penelope and the others are in trouble and is hardly involved in any gossip either. Seeing the girl who respects curfew and works for free in a community center, easily painted as a picture of perfection by the community, in front of her, lying like the devil himself, is worthy of a second look.

So, Penelope does it. Slightly random about the amount of time she spends there, stunned by what she just saw.

Josie looks at her. "What?"

"That was-"

"Exaggerated? False? A totally irresponsible and depraved scene? ”

“Impressive.” Josie's wry expression is replaced by a considerable amount of color that fills her cheeks. Penelope tilts her face, somewhat surprised at the reaction but still keeping her smile amused. "Has anyone ever told you that you lie like the devil himself?"

Josie looks away, clearing her throat. "I don't think so"

"You do." She offers her shoulders, looking around to watch the movement. A considerable part of the tents are already closed and there are not many people around; maybe a couple or two distracted on the bench near the road. She can also see a couple of cops changing shifts and that doesn't look good. This is not good. She has four people high like a kite to take home and none of them are even remotely close to being well enough to pretend to be sober. “Where is Phillipe herbs?” She questions instead, knowing she needs to get rid of one problem at a time.

Although Josie seems confused by the question, she nods, removing the plastic from her coat.

Penelope picks up the portion she put in her own pocket and approaches Josie to pick it up, taking care to avoid contact. Then, turning away she walks to the nearest tree and crouches down, starting to dig the earth with Bernardo's lighter.

"What are you doing?"

“What do you think?” She throws the plastics into the makeshift hole and covers it still using the tip of the lighter.

"Wait, are you just going to leave it there?" She doesn't know Josie very well, but she doesn't sound pleased with the idea.

Well, in that case...

Penelope smiles, resting her arms on her legs when she looks at her. “The other option is to burn.” She shifts the lighter toward her and raises an eyebrow. "Do you want?"

Of course she doesn't. Her narrow eyes, crossed arms and tight lips in disgust.

Penelope can almost believe she likes the morally correct.

Almost.

"No."

"Well, so it'll have to be my way." She shrugs, letting that little mocking noise out of her throat while she digs the earth a little deeper.

Penelope knows she would be able to hide it all in somewhere in the car and she also can pretend the only bad thing going on with the sleepers was a few gallons of vodka, but she warned that it wouldn't work. She was very specific, actually. So the thing is; if Phinn needs to come looking for his weed in the middle of the park under the sun, it will make up for all the work she's doing to save their ass.

It’s a fair game.

“So… did you get a scholarship?” Josie asks, her voice a little uncertain now.

“Not exactly.” The short and low tone is supposed to be enough.

She’s not rude. She has no reason to be. Josie was never rude to her. But that doesn't mean that they are going to have a decent dialogue, especially if it involves a subject as personal as Penelope's life desires. Once she finishes, she stands up, her mind working out a way to can get out the three posts she calls brothers from the mirror house.

"Not exactly?" Josie says again, arms crossed and voice almost nonexistent.

The confident and cheerful image of a few minutes ago fades into a cloud of insecurity that Penelope can now realize is staring at her, her eyebrows drooping and her thinking split between thinking of how to get out of here and understand why Josie is shy now.

Does Josie think she's going to be rude to her?

“Not exactly.” Penelope tilts her face, arranging her thoughts in a straight line. “I will go through an interview and some private practices, and if I pass, I’ll secure my place in.”

It's simple, really. When the administration people contacted Pearl, they said that the CEO liked the way she was described by the scouts, and considering that the university was opening some projects to invest more in women's teams, she had really good chances to get a seat. She just needed to prove that her mind is as sharp as her muscles.

“You got a chance to compete.” It's not a question, so there's no reason to answer even if she inevitably finds a subtle indication behind the words. Josie hesitates for a few seconds. "And is... You know, Is that what you want?"

_Reaching the x of the question is always a problem._ Penelope scoffs, scratching the back of her neck. Your discomfort is starting to become visible.

"Yeah, of course." That's not a lie. She really wants to play baseball, but again, Josie is not exactly the person who she wants to talk about that... Or about anything intimate, actually.

Fortunately, Teresa appears behind Josie shortly after that.

"I can't lift Bernardo."

With four partially sober girls and a few occasional grumbles, getting Bernardo up is easy - Hard is getting him into the car.

"I'll puke." He grumbles, digging his nails into the side of the van when Linda tries to close the door. That is his argument not to sit on a moving metal box - his words, not hers.

Penelope, sitting in the driver's seat, rolls her eyes. "If you throw up, you clean up."

"I'm not the car owner."

"You’re."

"This isn’t-"

"Bernardo," she interrupts, turning on the bench to look at her brother mortally. "You're my brother and I love you, but if you don't put the damn legs in the van and let me get your drunk ass out of here, I swear I'll tell Linda about your seashell collection."

Linda frowns. “Collection of what?”

This matters? Certainly not for Bernard, his narrow green eyes. "You wouldn't do it."

“Put. The damn legs. On the car.” She repeats word for word to stress.

Not kind, but it works at least. Even mumbling, he does what she asks while Josie, who has been watching all the interaction in silence so far, sighs with relief when all the doors are finally closed and sealed, just like Linda, who sits next to her boyfriend to ask about the shells.

Penelope checks them all by the rearview mirror; Phillipe is occupying the entire last seat, lying on Teresa's lap as she snores. Phinn, the genuinely more sober twin, is spinning his cross piercing while singing his own version of Staind It's Been, changing " _The consequences that are rendered_ " by " _The underlying ones that exist in the hurricane_ ", and Bernardo, well, he is alive. That must be something.

With everyone alive - or nearly so - Penelope exits the parking lot. Your eardrums blowing up with Phinn's shrill voice.

She waves to the security guards when she passes them.

"Okay, can anyone explain to me what shells are these?" Linda finally pushes out after Bernardo gets around the subject a thousand times.

  
"Oh, that's nothing, just a little habit he had when he was little." Penelope bites the inside of her cheek to avoid laughing when Bernardo growls in warning.

"We have a deal."

“You should tell, big brother.” She looks at him in the rearview mirror, her voice full of humor. "You were a lovely boy."

She knows she's screwed when Bernardo is silent for two full seconds before speaking again, her eyes fixed on his girlfriend.

"She made a diary for Josie when she was twelve." A deadly silence falls over the car, an obvious indication that this was the time to shut up, but Bernardo isn't sober enough to pick up the signals, so he keeps talking without noticing Linda's wide eyes. “That was beautiful. Very purple indeed, but she liked it.”

Penelope's easy humor dissipates when Josie looks at her, her expression confused and a little curious even under all the signs of unhappiness Penelope gives on the subject. Total bullshit. Bernardo knows this has been low as hell and she knows he will regret tomorrow, but now, the mention makes the unwanted chill go up Penelope's spine; Her hands gripping the steering wheel in a death grip while she feels the urge to stop the car and kick Bernardo's ass out of the van.

Linda changes the subject of the strategically quick conversation when they arrive on the road, shifting the focus of the boy's attention, which slips out of Penelope's emotional bullshit easily.

To Josie's credit, she seems to notice Penelope's displeased expression because a few seconds later she looks out the window again.

The rest of the trip is silent.

  
Teresa is the first to leave. Her house was only ten minutes from the park; It ins't a long way to go.

Linda leaves soon after. With all the boys sleeping and the three girls ready to wrap up the night, the farewell is not long. She comes into the house easily.

Josie goes a little later despite the initial hesitation when Penelope parks.

"Will you be able to put them in the house by yourself?"

"I'll."

Of course she doesn't believe, however. Penelope is at 1.63 now, a considerable height difference between her and the boys since the shortest of them is Phinn and he’s 1.84. It’s hard to believe that this will work based on the anatomy and body proportion of them all, but that doesn't mean that it’s impossible.

Penelope is a big girl. She knows how to work for herself, especially when she is the youngest of three boys. It's almost a must to know how to work alone.  
But Josie doesn't know that.

Penelope can literally see the objection grow on the tip of her tongue, but as far as it's legal, it's pointless, and both of them know it. This is her family, her obligation. This isn't the first time she has dealt with them in the altered state and it will not be the last, and she expresses it very well; Her dark eyebrow rising in silent challenge.

Josie sighs in defeat, her shoulders slumping while she opens the door and gets out of the van, muttering a simple thanks for the ride.

Instead of continuing her path and entering the house, she leans over the window.

"I know you probably don't want to hear it from me, but I'm really happy you got your chance." She says, still full of hesitation although there is no a real reason for that.

Since the community projects have grown and Caroline has had to leave the town to attend the other centers, Josie and Lizzie are constantly creating youth projects and running all kinds of sports that can get kids off the street. She didn't get the local honor title just for the tempting lips and angelic eyes. Social work is a part of her life, regardless of whether it has helped the girl who is attached to her body for the rest of her life.

Penelope smiles, regaining her stupid mood. “Is this the part I appreciate for your help, princess?"

“My name is Josie.” She rolls her eyes, but is clearly relieved by the relaxed mood if the smile on her face is an indication. "And not. You have achieved it on your own. I had nothing to do with it. ”

"It's a pretentious statement. I could be a crap in the field, you know. ”

"But you’re not."

Penelope shakes her head, the relentless smile on her lips. "You never saw me play."

"I did."

_Has she did it?_

There is a fine line between her field memory and her concentration at the time of a game and none of them is included Josie because she has never even shown herself to recognize Penelope's presence. Watching a game of hers is just another level.

Penelope raises an eyebrow. This was unexpected and she is the only one who seems notice since this statement is subdued by the girl in the window.

Josie look at the back accents briefly before pursing her lips in a discreet smile. "I see you around."

She doesn't think about it again, but it was... interesting.

  
Penelope wakes up with her bed shaking the next day.

She opens her eyes, sees Bernardo sitting at the end of the mattress and mutters about the unnecessary interruption of her sleep. Then, at the height of six in the morning, she covers her face to shield her defenseless eyes from the glare.

“I shouldn't have said that.” She listens in the silence. "I'm sorry."

Your confused and half-sleeping mind takes a while to figure out what he's talking about, but as soon as the information sinks, she sighs. "I know."

She takes some behavior lessons with Linda's etiquette teacher and listens some advices from the blonde too, because once she's surrounded by people with that kind of sophistication, she knows how to handle a tougher environment, all Penelope needs to learn to give her a chance to get a scholarship.

But it's boring at first. It's boring during the whole process, actually. And it’s necessary too, so she does it without complaint.

The the practical training is more tiring, however. Matching the school, the coffe shop hours and the required field hours proves more difficult than it seems, and this comes to her through sensitive nerves and an unpleasant shoulder strain. She is anxious. It’s inevitable not to stay. But it's good, anyways. She discovers that there is a real limit when her future is at stake, and even if you put all your dedication into it, you still need to know when to stop to avoid to lose all progress. She learns this surprisingly fast, for her own good.

With all this going on, the number of parties she goes to considerably decreases and her physics score drops slightly because of the amount of energy she is putting into sports rather than formulas. With the exception of these two factors – and the hellish anxiety she's feeling about her future – she's handling it very well.

“How many people are competing with you?” Phillipe asks some late afternoon. The twins haven't played since fourteen, but sometimes Phillipe comes to the field to help her train.

“Three, I guess.” She lies on the lawn, exhausted after her sit-ups. Your chest rising and falling wildly.

“Sixty in twenty-three seconds. You did well.” Phillipe encourages, sitting in front of her with his arms on his knees. "Do you know them?"

“Two are from rival school and one from Eastman. They’re good."

"But you’re better."

Penelope sits down too, her dark eyebrow arched and her breath under her control. “Park Family Advantages?”

“Hell, yes! Park family advantage." Phillipe agrees, your ego almost exploding in his chest.

When you grow up in a hostile environment, self-esteem and humor are necessary to maintain a minimal sense of happiness, and that's fine with it; The problem is that Phillipe totally lost the parameter between being happy and being stupid, and this may seem a bit extreme in technical terms, but this is the best thing that could happen to Penelope now. Despite the rolling eyes and the mocking noise in her throat, this is the first time in the month she can relax and that's good.

“You're good, Peez. You’ll achieve this." He continues anyway, supplying the fun mood with incentives. He's a park in the end. They’re all there to support each other even when the statistics are against them. It’s a natural instinct for Phillipe. And yet, the feeling of vulnerability grips Penelope's stomach with tooth and nail. She knows Phillipe has the best of intentions, of course, but it's still a lot of pressure to put on an eighteen-year-old girl. She feels nervous and she can't help it; This is the kind of situation that goes beyond her control.

Penelope sighs, snapping out of her thoughts when she recognizes Linda's blond hair in the stands. She is lying on Josie's lap, using her cellphone, totally oblivious to what is happening. Unlike Josie herself, who is watching the rest of the team complete the race around the field.

If she feels the attention, Penelope honestly doesn't know, but she returns her gaze within seconds, her lips tightened into a shy smile and her head tilting in a brief nod.

Penelope scoffs, her attention dropping to Phillipe again, "I've been told."

**Author's Note:**

> It's just another little story.
> 
> And as always, I'm on twitter @dasweet21.


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